another great one

So Im in an arguement with a few friends, and some how one says who can name something with wings that doesn't fly? One friend says a penguin, another says a buffalo. We all start to laugh then my obnoxious friend comes out of no where and says a maxi pad.

COME ON MAN

update

So the other day, I was very hungry and I pulled out some spagetti noodles and looked in my fridge and found chicken, tuna, and spinach. I mixed all in a bowl and started to eat. One of my roommates came in and asked if he could have some and I said sure. He started to eat and told me it was good then he asked what was in it. I told him and then he put his bowl down and said that's nasty.

COME ON

Update before April ends

1. This one goes out to Ms. Shellie who decided to give me a reason to laugh at her expensive. Mac and Jon as my witnesses Shellie came out her mouth and said something about herself suffering from RETARDISM

2. This kid named James who is a friend of one of my fraternity brothers was chillin at my house one day and I asked him why he wears a belt and his pants still sag below his behind. He replied that it was his belt's fault that it did.

3. Then he went on to attempt to try and explain to my friend and I that his belt didn't have enough holes in it to get the loop right or something. It honestly made no sense to me but I thought I would put it up here

4/13/10

This one is my own,"I know where Washington State is, I passed Geometry."
Yea, I can't defend anything on it lol

4/1/10

So Brennan and I are sitting at a drive-thru at BK and everytime Brennan gets the "Welcome to BurgerKing may I take your order" greeting he always wants to have a convo with the person and say, "Hi, how are ya" Come on man, just order

3/17/10

1. Me and the boys are chillin at Jeffs house playin a basketball video game and Brennan shoots a 3 pointer with rajon rondo (who isnt very good at 3's) we tell him about it and he says "He looks like a guy that can shoot 3's cause he is small." Then Jeff replies "So can you shoot 3's because you're short?" OOOOOOO BURN!!!

2. Brennan and I went to Indianapolis for a few days and we saw a purple bumper sticker on the back of this young lady's car. It read (Sorry I'm not in church, I've been practicing my Witchcraft and becoming a Lesbian) NO LIE, thats what it read. Brennan and I could not stop laughing for a good 15 minutes.

3. So we had dinner with Brennan's grandparents and she said that I was cute because I had long eye lashes. I gotta say I had never heard that one before but Brennan teased me most of the trip for it. Thnx Brennan's grandma

3/13/10

So today my friend Brennan and I went to the mall and I completely failed most of the time.

1. first thing, for almost a week and a half I didn't have a pair of matching socks. So I had been begging him to take me out to get some socks and we finally did. Well after I did purchase a pair I was so overwhelmed that I started singing LMFAO's "SHOTS," replacing the word "SHOTS" with "SOCKS" My friend Brennan could only say that it was a shame I was sooooo Happy to have bought socks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNtTEibFvlQ
For those of you who don't know the song, this is a link with the song on it, just remember to replace "Shots" with "Socks"

2. Also on this trip to the mall I tried to go upstairs on an escalator going downward.

3.Also, my friend Brennan wouldn't sleep until I put this up here, while we were walking through the mall he pointed out to me 2 boys who couldn't have been any older than 15 years old who were walking through the mall holding hands. IDK wat the big deal is but I am sure he will comment on it

3/8/10

Ok so my new friend James, got pulled over for being 13 miles over the speed limit by and UNMARKED CADILLAC PICK-UP TRUCK. He got off with a Verbal warning.
ALL IM SAYING IS, WHO KNEW CADILLAC MADE PICK-UP TRUCKS?

Funny day post 3/2/10

So 2 quick ones before I forget them.

- Animals have never had a war, (awkward stare at the person u are talking to and say) So WHOSE THE REAL ANIMALS!!!!!

- This was a very silly moment of my own, I was lying down on the couch watching TV slowly falling asleep in the middle of the day, I had my hands folded behind my head and I start to hear ticking. at first I think nothing of it and I try to relax. I start to hear it again and I start to freak out when I lay down I hear it but when I lean up, nothing. So after testing it another 15 times I lay back and try to look around at what is different when I am laying down. Then it hit me, I was still wearing my wristwatch and while laying in that position it is right next to my ear and thats what I am hearing.

"DAMN I COULD HAVE HAD A V8" (SMACK!!!)

3/1/10

So this weekend me and the fellas kinda just kicked it at the house and did nothing productive, these r some of the things that were done and said during last weekend

1. My friend Jeff ran out of gas in his car for the 17th time and got stranded on some lonely street in the bitter cold and of course he would call me, "UHHH YEAH SO I RAN OUT OF GAS AGAIN," he says as if its no big deal. But I suppose it is since he has done it way more than a dozen times. WOW Kid stick a post-it note to your rear view window that reads, CHECK UR GAS FOOL!!!!!

2. O yes and this one was beatiful as well, we play alot of video games at my house "When we are not studying and doing other productive things ;)" But me and my best friend Sam were playing Call of Duty, it was a mission where our objective was to take out hostile enemies and save the innocent civilians. Well my friend Sam and I were cornered by a couple enemies trying to fight our way out and while im shooting I notice him running through the middle of the bad guys I am shooting at. I started to yell at him saying "Would you please help me" Next thing that happens is the game tells us that we lost. Apparently my friend Sam had ran past a good 7 enemies just so he could shoot 3 innocent civilians, BEAUTIFUL SAM, NO WONDER THE MARINES NEVER CALLED YOU BACK

3. Ahh yes, my friend Brennan slept over on the couch the other night and ended up getting violated by Jeff's dog (Tanner). What happened was, he was laying on the couch getting ready to go to sleep and I don't why but he calls the dog over. The dog comes over and gets on top of him, at first young Brennan didn't have a problem wit it and he turned ova and lied on his stomach, well the dog then begins to bite him in his lower back and rear end, Brennan starts weeping from the large nibbles the dog is sampling from him and Jeff and I just sit there and do NOTHING, sorry Brennan it wasn't my dog, yell at Jeff, but in his defense U DID CALL HIM OVER

4. Sitting in Ethics class today and we are having a discussion about what is ethical at what time. Well, the topic changed to was slavery ethical back then to American's (meaning was it thought to be right or wrong) Well the whole class is engaged in the discussion and I am more listening than talking and then I look around and notice that in this large class of about 40 students, I am the only black guy. So I text my 2 friends who were in the same class at the time. My text read, "O no im the only black guy in here and they are talking about slavery and Im no where near an exit OMG wat do I do?" Yea, if ya can't laugh at ironic uncomfortable situations, what can ya laugh at?

2/24/10

1. Here's a nice one: Did you know that Unicorns exist?
-Yea they got fat after a while and now we call them Rhinos YAY

2. Michael McIntyre doin it again- So if you take a poo that looks like Jesus and you flush it, does it come back in 3 days?

3. Now one of my own, So who is better Jesus or Budda in terms of not gettin pinned to a piece of wood
Yea even I felt bad after saying it :(

4. So whats the point of your belly-button?

Friday 2/19/10

So this one killed me today, I'm walkin to class and happen to accidently easedrop on this conversation and this is what I heard, "So what happened to Tiger Woods? Did he get caught with marajuana or touch a lil boy or something?"
Way to keep with the times sweetie

Thursday 2/18/10 continued

Almost forgot this one- a friend of mine
GUY: So what nationality are you?
GIRL: I'm half Japanese
GUY: "Aww, I know alot of Koreans" WTF?

Thursday 2/18/10

Brennan's Father- Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
(JUST NASTY)

Sam yesterday at the Coliseum- "I think there is something wrong with the Sierra Mist, it's carbonated." FAIL SMH

Thursday 2/11/10 10:53

Quick update: From the lips of Spades himself - (So im driving down Wayne St., When I see the headlights of a car coming at me. And I think, who is this jackass coming my way on a one way street. Then he puts on his blinker to change lanes (thinking that is going to help anything). After he turns the corner I think, Hey that looks like McIntyre's car, O CRAP............IT IS...........JACKASS)

GREAT JOB McINTYRE, JUST AS I GET A BLOG UP AND U DO THIS

Feb 11, 2010

Ok so here is a few classics to get started with. Most of these happened within the last year but just stuck the right way.

1. I have a friend who answered his cell phone like it was his front door.
Phone: (ring) (ring)
Friend: (answer) Come in

Hilarious

2. This one was from a friend who messed up a reference to the movie "Men in Black 2"

Friend: Remember that part in the movie where Tommy Lee Jones says "When she rains, it cries."

Funny thing is it took us a good 2 minutes before we figured out what was wrong with what he had said, the quote actually goes "When she cries, it rains" but my retarded friend will forever hold a place in our funny bones for his comments that day.

3. My friend Brennan was playing Call of Duty today and died right in front of my eyes and said.
"Wait wasn't I suppse to survive, I thought when you survive it, you survive it, I don't get it" LMAO, the bad part is he was dead serious while saying it.

4. Last night I was hanging out with some friend watching "I Love You Beth Cooper", and as my 2 friends Michael and Kat were arguing about Brett Favre I couldn't help but notice that his fly was open. So I told him about it and he tried to fix it. He tries a good 4 times and then gives up sayin that his pants are broken. (Ok laugh it off no big deal) Well then Brennan comes in the room and is standing right in front of us with his fly half-way open and I tell him about it. He fixes it and Kat begins to tell me to stop looking at people's crotches. I just apologize and say I am just very observant and try to play it of the best I can. Well we then go to my friend spades room and we are sitting there hanging with him and Kat says, "Michel (Spades) your fly is open." I say, "Common does no one in this house kno how to work a zipper?" Spades replies I can do what I want it's my room. I honestly can't believe that within those 2 hours everyone but Kat and I's fly was open.

Intro

I live in a fraternity house and have many brothers. We often will sit around and laugh and joke with one another. More than often in the middle of our conversations one of us will say something completely crazy, weird, or strange. So to keep tabs on all the funny inside jokes, fail moments, and overall funny experiences that go on around we have dedicated this blog to recording the many silly things people say while they are sober.